Carl Reiner
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks
Everybody wants to laugh - you know that. They need to laugh... people need to laugh.
Carl Reiner
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Jerry Seinfeld
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You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.
Harlan Ellison