Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I just want to go and park my…

To enter Europe, you must have a valid passport with a photograph of yourself in which you look like you are being booked on charges of soliciting sheep.

Dave Barry

image

If you look like your passport picture you’re too ill to travel.

Will Kommen

From Roger in this mornings email…

Dear Sirs,  

I am in the process of renewing my passport, and cannot believe the process. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a TV from  them back in 1987, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date. 

For Christ sake, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date is on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs  declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms. Also, would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!

I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this BS!  You send the application to my house, and then you ask me for my address? What is going on?

Do you have a gang of Neanderthal asses working there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden?  I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense.

You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some idiot to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile? (Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!)  I have served in the military for something over 20 years and have had security clearances up the ying-yang. However, I have to get someone  'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor who was born and raised in INDIA!

An Irate Citizen.

Who can’t wait for for you to run health care!

Deny the passport, throw it away and make a great decision that you will not leave this shore until and unless you have liberated all the human beings.

Buddha

Note:  I have no idea who Will Kommen is and can find no references.  Any ideas?

1 comment:

  1. must be a pseudonym

    Will Kommen...aka willkommen = "welcome" in German

    No idea as to who's behind it, though.

    ReplyDelete

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Harlan Ellison